Definitions Liberal vs. Conservatives

Airhead America that useless Liberal Loon Online Rag with 250 regular readers decided to headline an article called Useful Definitions for Conservatives so I thought I would offer my own version of the Conservative rebuttal.

"Have you ever argued politics with a conservative counterpart and
felt as if you were speaking two different languages? Well, you were.
In order to bridge the divide, we have developed some definitions in
the hopes of making things a bit easier."

No, but I have argued with Liberal Loons who continue to ignore facts, and back up links to stomp their feet and say, "because I said so."

con-serv-a-tive

[kuhn-sur-vuh-tiv] -noun: A liberal who has not yet figured out how to think for himself/herself.

lib⋅er⋅al [lib-u-rul] noun: A Confused political ideal that assumes change is progressive, consisting of mostly people who do not work at a career or profession, have paid little, if any taxes and have no individual thought process. Anyone still considered a liberal after the age of 30 or having paid a substantial amount into taxes simply has no brains at all.

fil-i-bus-ter [fil-uh-buhs-ter] -noun:

Liberal Definition The Republican's health care plan.

Conservative Definition: A means to end the Socialist take over of the United States by Liberal Progressives, as provided by the U.S. Constitution, the document that is supposed to be the foundation for legislature and governance. Insidentally this document contains the requirements for the office of President of the United States, apparently the Liberal Barack Obama forgot to read that part, or else he just doesn't think it was very important.

def-i-cit [def-uh-sit; Brit. also di-fis-it] -noun:

Liberal Definition: The amount by which a sum of money falls short of the required amount, which only matters when a Democrat is elected to office.

Conservative Definition: The amount of money that the Democrats ignore when attempting to assme control, mandate, and/or govern any part of government or private industry when they are elected to office and spend their way into debt.

Note: It always requires a Conservative to correctly reduce the deficit after a Liberal Democrat has spent the nation into deficit and debt.

sen-ate [sen-it] -noun:

Liberal Definition: an assembly or council of citizens having the highest deliberative
functions in a government, easily manipulated by a single Senator from
Connecticut who craves power and attention.

Conservative Definition: the body of government where the Democrats cannot achieve a single final bill even when they have a majority of senate seats because they can't agree on a single thing - see diversity.

sur-plus [sur-pluhs] -noun:

Liberal Definition: A thing of the past.

Conservative Definition: An imaginary amount of excess money over the amount of money US owes to other countries. Democrats use guesstimates and future projections to create an imaginary surplus. Example: Bill Clinton

con-sti-tu-tion [kon-sti-too-shuhn, -tyoo-] -noun:

Liberal Definition: the system of fundamental principles according to which a nation,
state, corporation, or the like is governed. Used to discourage health
coverage to others, and promote guns. Frequently used as buzzword
without ever being read by person using.

Conservative Definition: the system of fundamental principles according to which a nation,
state, corporation, or the like is governed. Ignored by Democrats to take over health
coverage in order to raise taxes to create an imaginary surplus and reduce the deficit until the actual liability of medical coverage payments begin sometime in the near future (AKA Ponzi Scheme), and promote guns a right allowed under the 2nd Amendment. Not only Conservative Lawmakers understand the Constitution, but Conservative constituents have read and understand their rights under the constitution, Liberals make up their rights as needed in the current situation.

stim-u-lus [stim-yuh-luh s] -noun, plural-li:

Liberal Definition: A trip to Argentina for a visit with your mistress, which could potentially cost you your job as Governor of South Carolina.

Conservative Definition: A way for Democrats to repay all the people, businesses and special interest groups for helping them get elected. Also a means to support organizations that frequently participate in illegal activities while working for future elections, like ACORN and SEIU

di-ver-si-ty [di-vur-si-tee, dayh-] -noun-plural-ties:

Liberal Definition: The state or fact of being diverse; variety. Best adhered to by publishing ten rules and excluding everyone unwilling to abide.

Conservative Definition: Democrats allowing all beliefs under their party tent in order to get elected, then once elected not being able to agree on any single item and not being able to get a single issue resolved.

gov-ern-ment [guhv-ern-muhnt, -er-muhnt] -noun:

Liberal Definition: something
evil and ineffective that needs to be limited to giving tax breaks for
the rich, subsidies for powerful interests, and wars fought by the
middle and lower-classes.

Conservative Definition: A body of people elected OF the People, BY the People and FOR the People allowed only the rights assigned to it under the Constitution and held accountable when it fails to accomplish minimum requirements while not stepping over it allowed rights.

hy-poc-ri-sy [hi-pok-ruh-see] -

Liberal Definition: no results found

Conservative Definition: a Liberal